is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
