Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize