You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
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If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
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I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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