But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
