im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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