So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
