And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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