What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
