But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Houston, we have a squirter
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
