why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
