so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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