It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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