I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
