doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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