HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
