Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
