I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
