Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
