fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
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My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
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i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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