She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
