I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
