that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Randomize
