even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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