I need to stop coming to work sober
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
