It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
