I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
