dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
The air taste purple.
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