I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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