it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
