So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
