Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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