My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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