chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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