Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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