So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
