Bisexual people are plain selfish.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
