hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
