Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
