she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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