I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
