I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
