He is an equal opportunity slut.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
