he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
