I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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