i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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