I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
