The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
