well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
