I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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