she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
