jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
