return my video game
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
