In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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