I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
