I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize