Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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