just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
is wine microwaveable?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
