Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
