So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
