I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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