I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
