If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
