You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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