I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
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Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
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I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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