Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
